Goodbye 2024, see you never

Buckle up: I'm spilling all the beans about the best and worst parts of this year

A lot can change in a month, huh?

The last time we spoke, I was at the airport, leaving Mexico with a full cup and an open heart. I was hopeful for the rest of the year and excited to step into my truth. Whatever that looked like. As life would have it, when I returned back home to New Orleans, I dove head first back into work, churning out news stories like a machine.

The first week back at work, I definitely had a case of the post-vacation blues. I contemplated running away from life as I knew it to become some sort of healer, herbalist, yoga instructor… or have no job at all! All I knew was I didn’t want to be operating like the machine I had been pretending to be.

Returning back to the 9-5 space after dedicating myself to total wellness for a week on an island has been far from easy. Nonetheless, I am so grateful I went to Mexico and uncovered this part of myself I’m not sure I have met before. A version of myself that was more feminine, comfortable in my skin, going with the flow, staying up late to write from my heart, incredibly honest, eating healthy and deeply connected with the elements, nature and animals. I loved stepping into that version of myself and aim to channel her as much as possible in 2025.

Before I go full steam ahead setting all my intentions and creating my vision board for 2025, I’d love to take a moment to share the top highs and lows that shaped my year. As author and podcast host Mel Robbins mentioned in this podcast episode about auditing your year, sometimes the highs are also lows. As you will read below, that was surely the case for me!

Highs

1. Traveling to Mexico (big shocker, right?!): I left the country for the first time, got my first passport stamp and attended my first week-long retreat on a gorgeous island as an influencer. As hard as this year was, this trip was the icing on the crappy cake. I went from being broke as a joke (I literally had like $9 in my checking account in June) to eating chef-made meals and having my bed made twice a day at a high-end private villa. God is SO good! More than the material things, this trip reminded me of what is possible and what I really want out of life. I must hold onto the lessons I learned from this magical experience!

   

2. Being a paid speaker at Eczema Expo: If you would have told me in 2020 (while I was in the worst part of my eczema/TSW journey) I would soon become an eczema advocate and have the opportunity to speak to hundreds of people about my skin condition and inspire other eczema warriors, I would have said “yup! that sounds about right!” Deep down, this is what I had hoped for all along. It was such an honor to MC the opening ceremony for Eczema Expo weekend AND lead THREE sessions: a journaling workshop, a Black girl support group and a couples workshop with my sweet man John. I pray to do it again next year and want to continue inspiring my fellow eczema warriors!

   

3. Being published in Essence for the SECOND time: Seeing my work being sold at Barnes & Noble will never get old. Little Cynthea used to DREAM of seeing my byline in magazines at Barnes & Noble and it happened this year, again! It was a major way to kick off the new year. And honestly, I forget it happened this year! It feels like ages ago now. But hats off to me for writing a bomb story about an iconic music artist and woman athlete. I did that! If you missed it, you can read it here.

   

4. I wrote more stories than I’ve ever written: This year, I REALLY flexed my writing muscles. I stretched my mind and writing skills in ways I didn’t know were possible. I wrote more than 153 stories for 9 publications including Essence, Essence GU, New Orleans Magazine, Adore Magazine, Where Y’at Magazine, Lousiana Life, Baton Rouge Business Report, 225 Magazine and inRegister Magazine. I also had the honor and privilege to write three cover stories: Flau’ Jae Johnson Calls the Play, Power Couples in Baton Rouge and Textile Sustainability in Baton Rouge. I also quietly started Cynthea Unedited in late October which currently has 23 subscribers and 3 paid subscribers. The numbers may not sound big, but this digital safe space means more to me than all the stories I wrote for other publications! Thank you for being here and supporting my craft.

   

5. I went for it and conquered my fears: I did karaoke for the first time this year at the Eczema Expo, then again at the Wake Wellness Retreat and again at my work Christmas party! Who am I? I tried oysters for the first time. I made a modeling comp card. I applied for fashion shows at NYFW. I went to a casting call for a modeling agency and was offered a contract. I applied for various jobs and an artist residency that I feared was out of my reach. I had my first paid MC gig at Material Institute’s fashion show. I successfully completed a 10-day gut reset where I ate clean and whole foods for 10 days. I was named runner-up for Best Lifestyle Story at the New Orleans Press Club Awards. I made my first veggie lasagna and LOVED it. I integrated mushrooms into my diet and now I’m obsessed! Oh, did I mention I skinny-dipped in the ocean my last night in Mexico?! YOLO!

Lows

1. My dad died: I could have said my dad “passed” or “transitioned,” but I’m trying to become more comfortable with what actually happened. He died. My dad is no longer here on this Earth. And I am still learning to fully accept that. My dad died on July 22, 2024 and life hasn’t been the same since. While my dad wasn’t very present in my life, he still is a huge part of who I am. Finding out he died while I was at work and then having to drive home was one of the saddest and scariest moments I experienced this year. My dad’s funeral was the first funeral I have attended for a family member in my life. It was terrifying. I remember trying to put my lipstick on in the bathroom of the funeral home and my hands were shaking like a leaf. I could hardly still my hands long enough to paint my lipstick within the lines of my lips. Tears are forming in my eyes as I write this. There are so many conversations I wish I could have had with him, so many hugs I wish I could feel, and so many questions I still want to ask him. The silver lining that came from this though? For the first time, my siblings and I utilized our talents and came together to organize a celebration of my dad’s life. While we were all mourning and tears were flowing, it felt more like a family reunion than a memorial. There was enough light that day to push through all the darkness and sadness. For that, I am forever grateful.

2. I burnt myself out and went broke: After three years of freelancing, I had to hang up my self-employed hat (even if it was just temporary) and accept a full-time job. It was one of the hardest and best things that happened to me this year. I wasn’t ready to give up my freedom, but this year I learned a hard lesson in doing things you have to do even when you don’t always want to do them. I had to get back to a place of financial stability and not be in a constant state of uncertainty. Working at a full-time job hasn’t gotten any easier, but I am getting stronger. In the process of writing stories I’m not 100% into, I uncovered what I really want to write about: this blog and topics like women’s wellness, fashion, style, beauty, skin health, music, arts, culture, food and travel. More of that please, 2025.

3. I got scared and stopped betting on myself: While I did a lot of brave things, I also felt myself climbing into a shell. I started off the year really brave and confident, eager to attend NYFW for the first time. Then when that didn’t happen, I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough for the big things I wanted. I started to wonder why I even tried. Why try hosting big Brunch for the Soul events and expanding my community? Why try walking in a NYFW fashion show? Why try working 100% for myself and finding clients like my livelihood depends on it? Fear took the driver’s seat and brought me along for the journey. I can’t let that happen again next year. I won’t.

4. I neglected my health: From April to June, I experienced serious headaches on the left side of my head I had never felt before. It wasn’t the normal dehydration or too-much-coffee headaches, it was something else. While I’m still not totally sure what caused them, I think it was either stress or blood pressure-related. I discovered I had high blood pressure this year and was able to get it down with some intentional eating, more sleep and stress regulation. But it’s a daily practice, something I want to return to and prioritize for 2025 and beyond. I also let my eczema worsen and spread all over my body…again. I returned to scratching habitually and did not find a trustworthy dermatologist to maintain healthy skin. And I can’t forget the fibroids. I discovered I have fibroids in 2023 and intended to work on shrinking them naturally by changing my diet and stress levels. Did I do that? No. But I forgive myself and promise to move differently next year.

Final thoughts

This year showed me I receive what I put out. When I act as an influencer, a speaker, a model, a blogger, a journalist —those are the exact opportunities God hands me on a silver platter. Whatever I want in this life, I must do those things now. I must do the job I want with or without pay. I must create the platforms, the communities and the spaces I want to experience right here with the tools I have in this very moment. I can’t wait for anyone to give me permission or grant me admittance to the roles I want. I must create them myself. The people, brands or businesses that align with my vision will come knocking on my door eager to work with me. Also, there’s more to life than work. Some of the most precious and fulfilling moments this year happened outside of work. The time I spent with my family the week of my dad’s celebration of life was so valuable. I felt seen, content and full. It reminded me those are the moments life is all about.

This year threw so many curve balls at me, but I batted them like a pro. As the year comes to a close, I don’t want to be hard on myself anymore. I don’t want to point out all the things I could or should have done. I want to celebrate the woman I became this year: a dynamic storyteller, a business reporter, a world traveler, a voice for my family and a woman who acknowledged her fears but didn’t let them control her.

2024: thank you for the highs, lows and every moment in between. I will forever be a stronger woman because of the lessons this year has taught me.

Also, a special thank you to everyone who has made it this far and read all the way through! I appreciate every reader, subscriber and paid subscriber. I can’t wait to continue sharing with you all and diving into the deepest depths of our souls together! Happy New Year!